Here's the thing. When I was a little girl, I had a BFF. She grew up next to me, we shared everything (clothes, lockers, boyfriends), had sleepovers, covered for each other when we were bad. She was MY PERSON. This continued into our 20's and she became my maid of honor, as I was hers. It was something we had pinky promised on when we were like 17 or something so obviously this made sense at this time. Here's where it breaks down. As girls, we are conditioned to think that we need "BFF's." Like we can't be fully happy or complete without one. The problem with this, at least in my case, is that my "person", my "BFF" was pretty shitty. She was selfish about my wedding, and actually got in a fight with me afterwards for not considering her feelings more when my other friends were involved. WTF? Seriously?!
Here's the thing. I got over it because for some reason, I was completely sentimental about my childhood friend. In ways that I am not sentimental about anyone else. And though I have gotten over it, and have not talked to her in years, I still think about her every day and think about how to reconnect with her. How pathetic is that?! I can normally get over shit in a second. And yet when I think about my friend I've know since I was nine, I get all kinds of sad. Which makes me feel a little….
Because I can get over all other boys and all other friends, but this girl makes me feel a little sad? Fuck her!
And then I had an epiphany. Guess what? I have a good number of really, really, good friends. Like girls that would do anything for me and love me just the way I am (like my lover Bruno Mars says). So how fucking lucky am I?? I have friends, from college and mostly from beyond, who know me as I am , as a slightly wonky, sparkly 36 year old mother and wife, and fucking LOVE me. Just as I love them. And the fact that I have a small group of these Golden Girls is the BEST GIFT EVER. Like God looked down on me and was like "for the most part, you're fucked, SD, but I am going to bless you with a tribe of ladies who know you and get you and maybe that will get you to see the light." Well, to this I say, "PRAISE JESUS."
For real. My tribe keeps me going, keeps me smiling, and keeps my crazy ass grounded. It's a small tribe of Golden Girls. People who I thought were ride or die chicks have fallen off. But my girls who remain, who I talk to and text with and email with all the time, know who they are and know that they keep me going. I couldn't stay sane without my Slizzards, and Teenies, and Smashes, and Tiny N's, Georgia Peaches and Ginger Spices. They might not know it all of the time, but this is my love note to them to tell them that they complete me. And knowing I have this small tribe, who has my back and front and can handle my crazy no matter what? That is kinda like this:
So this is a love note to those girls who didn't fall off the grid, who know me as I am now and still think I'm the shit, and who I love like the sisters I wish I had. I can't wait for our crazy old lady apartment in a retirement community in Miami. I call dibs on being Blanche. Love you girls.
LYLAS,
SD
