Current Sparkle Crushes

Friends. If you haven’t caught on yet, I am not intending to make this wee lil’ blog any sort of advice source. My life, while sparkly and fun, can also often be incredibly messy and cluttered. So God help you if you ever try any of my shenanigans in real life!

That being said, there are a few things that are just making me bubbly with delight recently, and I thought I would share with my fellow sparklers. Think of it like “Oprah’s Favorite Things” but with a lot less yelling and absolutely NO free shiz.

1-Florence + The Machine’s New Album, Ceremonials. I love, love, love this album. I want to make out with this album. Every song makes me feel SOMETHING, and as someone with a serious music addiction, this is HUGE. I particularly like “Bedroom Hymns” and “Shake It Out”. A moody, sexy, ear cocktail-that’s this album.

2-Landmark Movie Theaters- If you have one of these in your town, you should never see a movie anyplace other than there. They have a bar. A BAR! As mentioned in a previous post, wine + movie theater= A GOOD TIME. Seriously, every time I go, I am reminded of how much this place rocks!! You should find one and check it out and try to tell me I’m not right. Go ahead! I double-dog dare you.

3-DKNY Luxe Opaque Tights-When the weather turns cold (which I loathe) and most people start wearing pants and big wooly sweaters (which I also loathe), I turn to my dear old friend, the sweater dress. I love me a sweater dress. Warm, comfortable, and yet still chic when the weather is anything but. However, if you work in a conservative environment, as I do, these tights keep a body hugging sweater dress on the right side of classy. I’ve been on the other side of that equation and while it’s all well and good for a Saturday night out with my sparklers, it’s never good to be there with your boss giving you a side-eye. Trust.

4-Two TOTALLY Different TV Shows:
-New Girl- I know, I know. I bet you are wishing I would shut the f up about this show already. But I promise, it is honestly one of the FUNNIEST shows on TV right now. Even the Mister watches it with me and agrees. Just give it one shot and I promise you will adore it as I do.

-American Horror Story-How can someone who worships all things sparkly like something as dark and twisty as this show?? Good question, friends. One that will go unanswered. This show is so scary that I usually refuse to watch it until Saturday afternoon. And even then sometimes I watch through my fingers. But it is really smart and scares the bejesus out of me EVERY TIME. And Jessica Lange is so good at being evil, she makes me want to take a course from her.

So that’s my list of current loves. What are you guys loving these days? Tell a sista!

A Final Note of Thanks

Even though Thanksgiving has passed, I have to give one more shout out of gratitude to my bestie, Slizzerd. How someone could know everything there is to know about me and still love me unconditionally is truly a tiny miracle from wee baby Jesus! And as she is a "PLU" (PLU=people like us-a Slizzerd term) we can have hours of fun doing almost nothing. Or drinking mass quantities of wine, as we did last night, and laughing about how ridiculous life can be.

So for being the kind of friend who slips a fiver in my pocket when I'm dancing on the bar (a habit I abandoned once I reached maturity at 30), will join me in performing full on dance routines at dive bars and dinner parties, and accepts and applauds my sometimes absurd ideas and sparkly fashion choices, I raise a glass to my lady soul mate, Slizzerd.

Hey, girl, hey...

Today I'm Thankful For...

My Big Love Family.
Every Tuesday night (at least) I invade their home, drink their wine, and unload on them my woes from the week. They are my dear friends Smash and BL.

I literally invade their house at least twice a week. Usually more. And every single time, without fail, they feed me delicious num-nums and give me glass upon glass of delicious vino. They are my family and I honestly cannot imagine my life without them.

Once a week I clomp in, cop a squat on their sofa, and laugh with them about life and our shows. Glee and New Girl.

But more than the shows or the wine, it's the familial warm and fuzzies that I treasure the most about these nights. They are my family and I am thankful for their patience with my random sparkle-ness.

Big love. My love for you knows no limit and for that I am thankful.

Xoxo.

Today I Am Thankful For: Pirate Booty Friendship

Last week, my mini-SD had a full on nuclear meltdown over Pirate Booty. Specifically her lack of Pirate Booty. Are you familiar with Pirate Booty? I certainly would have thought it some sort of fetish, costume porn type thing, prior to having children. As a mother, I now understand that it is a cheesy, puffed corn treat that is like kiddie crack, at least to my little sparkler. She literally was shrieking at top volume “I NEED Pirate Booty!!” (In actuality, it sounded more like “Ah nee Pa-at Booey!!”) Seriously-someone call Candy Finnegan at Intervention, because my kid needs HELP. Luckily, the crisis was averted when I distracted her with carrots and dippy. (Dippy=Ranch Dressing=Mini-SD Happiness)

Anyway, this Pirate Booty meltdown got me thinking about what I love, as passionately as Mini-SD loves her Pirate Booty… What would make ME turn into a cracked out banshee if I couldn’t have it? Obviously I love my Mister, family, and friends. My Mini-SD who makes my world spin ‘round and gives me a reason to strive to be my sparkly best. My small fluffer-mutters, T & T. My prized pair of Louboutins and fancy bags that the Mister spoils me with. These things are all, in my opinion, a given.

Over the weekend, the answer hit me. I LOVE my ladies nights. For me, a night with any of my favorite sparkle divas, drinking vino and laughing at nonsense is bliss. Try telling me I can’t have that anymore and I MIGHT have similar meltdown. It doesn’t matter if it’s me and one pal in our grubs, watching “The New Girl”** and drinking bubbles or a group of us in our sparkly best on the town, making mischief. The warm and fuzzies I feel after such adventures are something I truly treasure and feel thankful for.


Example:
Saturday night I ventured downtown to watch the latest “Twilight” disaster with four of my favorite ladies. We started with drinks and munchie things and then hit the movie. Please note: this movie theater has a BAR. Which makes any movie better, non? We were forced to sit up front, but still had the MOST fun. It was the kind of crowd that laughed at the bits that weren’t supposed to be funny, which made them even more hilarious. If you are unfamiliar with the Twilight movies, I will tell you, they are VERY bad. Hilariously bad, which makes them SO good and fun to watch. Especially with a group of friends and a few bottles of wine. I laughed harder in those few hours than I have in a very long time! One of my best sparkle darlings is coming for a visit on Friday and I know my abs will be angry on Saturday, but I don’t care. The kind of laughter that makes your abs hurt is worth a wee little headache the next day, am I right?

So that, friends, is my Pirate Booty. My pack of sparklers that make me laugh until it hurts and make me feel extra disco ball-ish from the amount of fun we have. In fact, I am so thankful for the ladies in my life that make me sparkle even more freakishly, that I may be compelled to gift all of my sparkle girls with shiny jackets that say “Pirate Booties” on the back. Like the Pink Ladies from "Grease", but even MORE badass. (I call dibs on Rizzo)

Word.







**Editor’s Note: If you aren’t watching “The New Girl” with Zooey Deschanel yet, please stop whatever you are doing and get on board this train. It is, by far, the FUNNIEST thing on television, and regardless that Ms. Deschanel wears a series of unfortunate shorts in it, you will adore her.

Phoning It In

Hello, sparklers. I have approximately a bajillion (give or take a few) notes on my little yellow pad of fantastically witty and amazing blog posts. None of which I've actually written. This week and this cold weather are stifling my sparkle, so I am just putting this up as a cry for help. Observe:


I WANT this dress. Badly. It has ostrich feathers on the bottom. LOVE. I have absolutely no where to wear it, but would consider throwing some black opaque tights and more-subdued-than-my-usual-crazy party girl heels on and wearing it to work on a day with only 2 or 3 meetings. That's how much I am charmed by it.

This leads me to believe that I might need some sort of intense, retroactive immersion therapy that involves watching old episodes of "Zoobily Zoo" and George Michaels "Freedom 90" video for at least 48 hours straight. Because apparently, I've just turned into one of those fashion zealots with a penchant for animal things. And friends, while I do have a soft spot in my hard heart for small fuzzy dogs, I am not really into nature-y things. At all. Please discuss amongst yourselves what is to be done with me. Or send me this dress to wear to the next 3-year olds birthday party I have to attend. That's in a week, so please make it 2-day shipping.

Truth.

I often have rando ideas for my rando blog at times that are inconvenient for me to elaborate on them in my overly-verbose, "Sparkle Darling" way, so I will usually write little notes to myself on the "yellow pad" on my iPhone. 90% of the time, when I refer back to my notes, I have no f-ing idea what the hell I was thinking or what I was going to write. Believe me, if I was able to post as often as I have the sparkley thoughts, I would be the next Perez for sure.

Anyway, in a swirling tizzy of champagne bubbles and new " Glee" induced giddy inspiration, last night I wrote one such note. And thanks to the awesomeness of auto-correct, my "note to bloggy self" was not only hilarious, but also impossible to improve upon, in my opinion. I didn't change or spell check any of this shiz (obvi!) before posting below. I'm sure you'll agree it is both enlightening and raucously funny.

Behold:

Title: For My Irish Peeps
Lepta han=leprechan . Welcome to the basement. big love smash glee recap.
Animal print Hummel. Rubbing ton poop*.
Ps- haves cocktail, ask siri and the cloud, and maybe you'll get it. Truth.

(*Editor's Note: I DO know this was supposed to reference the "Lord Tubbington's candy bar poop" storyline from Glee. However-anyone who knows and loves me knows I do NOT engage in poo talk. EVER. Like NEVER EVER.)

I mean, seriously. Seriously, you guys! How could I improve upon genius like this? Jesus. Please don't call Candy Finnegan from Intervention on me. Not yet, at least. Besides, I'm much more of a Jeff VanVonderan girl, myself.


Truth.