WHOOOO Are You?

So Thanksgiving got in the way of the blogger stride I'd hit in October and early November.  But I don't want to pass over giving thanks for all of the sparkly goodness in my life.  I feel like a truly lucky girl for an amazing family, a mister who lets me be outrageous and sparkly as often as I want, friends that truly get me and keep me moving forward when sometimes I just want to take a big ol' nap from real life, and for the biggest star-my Mini SD.  She just keeps getting more awesome as the months pass by.  So for all of that and more, I am thankful this year.

Now.  On to the meaty goodness of this post.  I have a good friend, Ginger Spice, and within the past year, we've been hanging out a lot more.  We've known each other for years, but have become way closer as this year has progressed.  Like before we were Kelly and Brenda in Season 1 and now we're more like Kelly and Brenda in Season 3-before that ho Kelly got with Dylan when Brenda was in Paris, obvi.  And if you don't know what I am talking about, please just stop reading this blog now because how can you think I'm remotely entertaining and NOT know 90210?

Anyway. So back to me and Ginger Spice. Sometimes we hang solo and sometimes with the Misters because they mesh well, like peanut butter and chocolate.  The past few times we've all hung out, particularly when we are having loads and loads of cocktails, Ginger always seems to find out a new tidbit of information about me, that I thought was common knowledge.  For example, she didn't know about my wee little blog venture, and when our other pal, Smash told her about it, Ginger was like "WHO ARE YOU?!"  I laughed and was like, "seriously, you know almost EVERYTHING else there is to know about me.  Promise."

Then we all had a grown up playdate to see the new James Bond movie, Skyfall (SO. GOOD.) and over dinner afterwards, I was mentioning how watching the movie made me a little itchy to play the Bond video game that I was obsessed with way back in the day.  And the other game, Hitman 2, Silent Assassin that I played relentlessly for most of 2006.  Like googled strategy guides for tough levels and would stay up late on a school night to play.  I was a total gamer nerd.  (don't even judge.  that shit was FUN!).  And again, Ginger was all "Seriously.  WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"  To which I was like, "just don't get me started talking about Halo 2.  Lawd, was that fun too."  I secretly think that Mr. Ginger Spice thought it was cool, but Ginger was mortified on my behalf.  Unnecessarily, because I am confident enough in my sparkly-ness to know that being a gamer doesn't really void my ticket to the disco ball.  My Mister also threw shade, but I KNOW he thinks this quirk is badass.  Seriously, I might be hooking up the Xbox this weekend, because just thinking about how much fun I used to have killing people on secret missions in Romania makes me feel like this:














These are just two of many examples of how my friend Ginger was baffled by my "secrets" that I didn't really think were secrets.  And it just goes to show that just because you feel like you've been super close buddies with someone forever, doesn't mean that they actually know all of your history.  It would be great if we could just hip bump or fist pump or something (get your head out of the gutter, if you're reading this, Mr. Ginger Spice) when you realize you've become close enough with someone to share these types of things.  Like your entire history, and emotional baggage and weirdnesses would be transferred to your new friends' brain and they could be like "Oh!  So that's why you hate Celine Dion with a strange passion and whiskey makes you cry!?  Got it!"

Although it IS great fun to keep surprising Ginger and seeing the shock on her face when I tell her something I think is totally reasonable and she shrieks '"WHO ARE YOU!?"  Except now I'm tempted to casually drop random "secrets" every time we hang out now.  Watch out, Ginge.  That's all I'm saying, cause your girl is crafty!!

Thank Fucking God it's Friday.  Am I right?
SD

Let's Pretend I Posted This Last Week, Shall We?

THANK GOD Obama won again.  I haven't posted since the election, but holy shit, was I nervous!  I had to go to my polling place three different times and finally had to be okay with the fact that I was going to have to wait in a line longer than 20 minutes.  But I did and it made me worry about why so many peeps were out rocking the vote.  It made me worry that they were rocking the vote on the side of EVIL.  Which made me worry so that I had to keep pouring wine and chocolate down my throat until the results came in.  I stayed up LATE too, waiting for the returns.  When my buddy Wolf Blitzer finally called Ohio for my boy, I was all:

And then I waited up to hear Romney's concession speech.  And waited to hear if Question 6 passed, giving all of my rainbow friends the right to marry each other and not enter into crazy, loveless, sexless marriages like some people we know...  (Hey, John Travolta....)

So I waited and waited, and fucking waited some more.  Even when Fox News called it for Obama, still the Romney camp "wasn't ready to concede".  Really?  Even Sarah Palin had the sads because she saw the writing on the wall.  (well, that and her hair and makeup looked like she was an extra in the prom scene from "Pretty In Pink")

And then while I was waiting some more, I saw more hilarious things that added to my joy.  First, drunk Diane Sawyer?!  Seriously-that shit made me smile like when Britney had her own reality show.  PLEASE tell me you saw this, or at least one of the many spoofs that came afterwards:

Seriously, how hilarious is it when she's like "Can we get the mushic?  We can now call anotherrr state for President Barack!"  Have another, Diane.  I'm not judging.  Just maybe wait until AFTER the biggest news night of the year to start tippin it, okay gurl?

And then what about Karl Rove having a temper tantrum when Fox News called Ohio for Obama?!  When he made that poor, dumb news woman walk back to the "war" room to check their methods for calling it?  And she actually did it?  SO. FUCKING. GOOD.  I honestly felt like I was watching a skit from SNL.  

So even though at 1:00 A.M. when the Mister had already peaced out for the night, and I was all by my lonesome with my third glass of vino and my stinky dog, inside I was having a hell of a party with all of the fun and shenanigans from election night:

Inner Disco Balls,

SD

About That Election Thingy Tomorrow....

I don't know about you guys, but I am SO sick of the crazy amount of Facebook posts from friends about why their candidate is better than another.  Don't get me wrong-I am pretty rabid in my support for my guy, but that's partially because the other guy wants to set equality and women's rights back about 40 years.  So clearly, I'm right and should be rewarded for taking the high road and not posting about my Obama love on FB or tweeting about it ONCE while half of my friends have been doing it every f-ing day.  And here's my reward:

Seriously?!  Look at these assholes.  How could anyone want to have Ol' Mittens and Lady Crazy Eyes representing us for four years???!!  That is just INSANE.  Can't you just hear Mitt making the Fonzie sound while making this face?  Like "Eyyyyyyyy.  Pinkie Tuscadero, hop on the back of my bike and we'll do wheelies through the parking lot at Al's.".

Ew.

My guy Barack is not perfect, but as I've said before, he represents what's important to me WAY more than this vag-hating, homophobic, douchebag.  I'm hopeful that if you read this blog, you probably agree, and therefore, I strongly encourage you to VOTE!!!  If you don't agree, I strongly encourage you to STAY THE HELL HOME.  :)

Seriously-if Mittens wins, my alcohol issues might be taken to the next level.

Please don't make my alcohol issues go to the next level.  It would be a scary, scary sight.

Rawk the Vote.

SD

Is that you, Prince??

Hooray Friday!  I can't even put into words how psyched I am to see this weekend begin.  And I only had a three day work week thanks to Sandy!  But it has been a crazy week with the weather, etc.  I'm so grateful that the only hardship I experienced was our DirectTV going down for a few hours.

So I noticed something interesting last week and forgot about it while pouring wine in my gullet during all of the Sandy/Halloween madness..  And that is that there is a stat tracker thingy set up for my wee little blog that I hardly ever look at, ever.  But I happened to glance at it last week and saw that someone in Minneapolis, Minnesota is a DEDICATED sparkler.  Like seriously-checks it regularly, even though it was a long, dry summer and early fall for posts.  Obviously, there is only one person who I know in Minneapolis.  PRINCE!!  I actually concocted an entire theory about how he has someone on staff who he pays to "google" him everyday, and because I talk about him A LOT, his google person clued him in to my nifty blog and voila!!  He was hooked on my wit, love of amazing music, and my smoky eyes*.  (*see last years NYE post).

DUH.  So now I'm just waiting for the call that he wants me to come out there for a visit so I can be his new muse for his upcoming album of dirty pop songs that will be his comeback smash.  (not that he needs one because he's a legend, obvi).  But still.  I'll take a sabbatical from work, pack up mini (she will LOVE Paisley Park), and channel my inner Appolonia.  I'll do it for the fans, because we deserve another album of dirty pop songs.  And I'll do it because I think my missed calling is being a muse for Prince.  I totally knew all of the dance moves to "Gett Off" and "Cream" back in the day and thought I was the shiz!

So sparklers, I will do my best to add new posts as often as I can until I get that call.  Because once I do, I'm pretty sure I'll be too busy doing slinky dances along a floor, surrounded by half naked, oiled people to write much.  But I'll take lots of pictures.  Promise.

Prince, I am ready for you.  I'll work on my high pony, find my raspberry beret, and break out my flyest fly girl gear and be ready when you call.  Holla at your girl!

(Please note-I tried for a WHILE to embed the video for Gett Off here, and apparently, it's impossible times a million.  But here's a link.  If you have any sense of sexy, you'll watch it immediately.

It's Hard for Me to Say What's Right, When All I Wanna Do Is Wrong.

SD