but my Grand-Mama called and would like her fancy, violet, doily/tablecloth back that she uses as the centerpiece for her "Parisian Bordello" room. Please have it cleaned and returned to her post haste.
SERIOUSLY, you guys? Seriously.
You are dating one of the most delicious men in the history of all men and you wear a sheer hooker tablecloth to a major event with him? One that allows everyone in the free world to see your black booty shorts underneath??!! You've been papped enough times by now that SOME designer other than Frederick's of Hollywood MUST be sending you something more stylish than what I could find in the "teen dorm room" curtains section of Bed, Bath, & Beyond.
Bitch, please.
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