Anyway-I don't even know where to begin with all of the shiz that's been bringing your girl down. Not really "down" like I have the saddies all day, every day, but just "down" like I feel like I am so overwhelmed that my sparkle might have started to tarnish. (Not really-don't even THINK such a thing!) So I work at a school, which has been a whirlwind since starting on August 28. Plus I started my grad school classes the week before that, which have been kicking my ass on a weekly basis, making me feel completely intellectually inept and like the dumbest girl ever. SO. MUCH. MATH. Math is my kryptonite, my Achilles heel, the thing that causes immediate sweating (and not in a good, "Magic Mike dancing to the pony song" or Adam Levine shirtless way.) It makes me sweat in an actual, fearful way because I have no idea what the fuck a liquidity ratio is, let alone how to figure it out on a financial report. The good news is that I got an A- on my solo mid-term project (with a lot of help from our Director of Finance!!) and my last class is next week. The bad news is that my last class is next Thursday and I have to start all over again the following Thursday. And my school is in a GORGEOUS area of the city, on the water and directly across the Four Seasons. And every Thursday night from 6-9, I am heading into an air-conditioned, windowless classroom while people are strolling along the waterfront and heading into the swank bars right there. SO. NOT. SPARKLY. I just keep telling myself that it will be worth it, whenever the hell I can finish. Seriously, it's too depressing to think about how long I am going to be doing this. On a related note-I am now completely obsessed with getting a MacBook Air for my academic endeavors. All the cool kids in my class have them (truth-there ARE no cool kids in there!) but I think they are sexy and people seem to be able to look like they are paying attention and still g-chat and surf the web at lightening speed. So obviously I feel as though this piece of equipment is essential to my academic success.
Other breaking news is that I turned 35 and feel really freaking old now. I know I am not actually really old, but 35 just seems like an age where I should be more mature and have my shit together way more than I actually do. I made a list of "Things a 30-year old should not do anymore" when I turned 30 and for the most part, I've stuck to them. Like, I don't think (at least I don't remember) I've danced on top of a bar since turning 30. I haven't dressed like a total whore when going out with friends, and have tried to eat better and take better care of my body than I did in my 20's. Of course, I still drink like a professional alcoholic, but baby steps, right?
But 35 seems like the age where shit gets REAL. Like if Mister and I want to have another baby (which may be in the cards or not), I don't have a lot of time to figure that out. With Mini SD, I was all like "Oh, I don't want to be pregnant in the summer because there are lots of fun parties, and I don't want to be knocked up for New Years, etc..." But now, I feel like fucking Ally McBeal with an invisible dancing baby chasing me around, reminding me that time is a-ticking and I had better make up my mind if I want to give Mini a sibling to boss around or not.
It didn't help that my beloved, stinky, fluffy mutt Tootsie died five days before my birthday. I got her when I was young, newly single and acting all sorts of crazy in Atlanta. She was like a symbol of my youth, as much as my python pants, or backless belly shirts were. And she just suddenly got sick and Poof! we had to put her down. It was awful and caused ugly crying like the Mister had never seen. IN PUBLIC. And my people know how much I despise crying in front of others.
Needless to say, 35 has pretty much sucked ass so far. The past month has made me curse my bestie Slizzard for moving 400 god damned miles away because at times like these, you need your bestie.
God, I sound so dreadfully depressing. Which I don't feel right now, but I wanted my sparkly friends who continue to check this wee little blog to know why I was MIA for so long. And on that note, let's end this post and start a new, happy one, shall we?
Stupid Crybaby,
SD
No comments:
Post a Comment